“Just let me be me”

This is quite a loaded statement. “Just let me be me” has so many sides to it. Let’s unpack a few of them.

First and foremost, when somebody says that usually they mean: “let me express myself as I want to do it.” This is natural in many ways.  When we have something to express, we’d like to say it as it comes to us, without the hindrance of limitations from others.

Another meaning of this is: “accept me as I am.” This is very powerful, because it explains the kind of relationship we all desire. We want to be loved unconditionally, we want to know that who we are is enough to be in a meaningful relationship. Hence the tension: we want to be accepted just as we are, we want a deep relationship. But sometimes we’re not ready for it. It’s a hard truth to grasp with sometimes, but facing the truth is the only way to truthfully improve. Nobody is perfect, but some are better than others at relationship. You be the one who is better at it- it’s normal to desire to be accepted for who you are, but if who you are needs some work, then do the work.

At some point you will have to accept somebody for just who they are, and hopefully they will accept you for just who you are. This is not “settling” in that sense. It’s accepting how life is and doing the best you can with it. In some ways since you’re not perfect you are settling, and somebody is settling with you. It’s a fact of life. The mature ones learn to settle down in a relationship that makes them happy… a lot of people settle in a relationship that is just functional – and that is “settling” in the negative connotation.

What I’m trying to say is this: know that as some point you will have to accept somebody for just who they are. Make a wise choice, and accept them all together. Know that somebody will make the same decision with you, so try to be the best person you can be, and always grow. Be a killer deal for somebody who will settled down with you so that when they “let you be you”, you are an awesome thing in the happening.