#08 Learn to listen: How to talk to Girls Series
Girls love to laugh as much as we do. If your naturally the center of attention and the funny guy in the group your probably used to making people laugh and having them listen to you. You can probably talk about anything for hours.
Or maybe you’re a story teller. Maybe you have a lot of exciting things you just can’t wait to retell and your close friends actually do enjoy listening to you and your adventures.
Or perhaps you feel passionately about something. Politics, theology, relationships, etc. And you could wax eloquent for hours on your pet theme.
Well guess what, girl you just met probably doesn’t want to hear that for hours on end. I mean gage the situation. If you meet her in the context of you being the center of attention, sure maybe she will enjoy you continuing to hold that position for a bit.
But eventually she wants to talk. About her. And she should. That’s fair. Learn to love it. Learn to love to listen to a woman talk.
We’ve not supposed to be this way unless we’re gay in today’s society. And there is a limit. You don’t want to become her girlfriend for her to bitch to. But you do need to develop the ability to actually listen, not just hear, and actually enjoy it.
How do you do that? A couple things. First of all if she totally bores you she’s probably not for you. Just saying. But sometimes it’s more a matter of perspective. You need to get out of the mindset that what girls think about and talk about is somehow stupid and what guys talk about is somehow intelligent and logical and interesting.
Listening to a girl talk is like entering another world. It’s exciting. I don’t get it sometimes. But it’s fascinating. And they can be funny and interesting and good stories tellers if you let them. They can show you a side of life you never realized existed and its quite a delight. But you have to start with the mindset that what they have to say isn’t stupid.
So let’s say you are sitting at the bar enjoying a good beer and you realize you’ve been talking about yourself a bit too much. Look over to her and say, “you look like you have a pretty exciting life. Why don’t you tell me about it? Make me jealous.” Or your own version of that. Make them feel comfortable and enjoy the conversation.